How I Got Through My Parents’ Divorce

The hardest thing I’ve ever done. If you saw my post about what went down, you would know I was about seven or eight when my parents divorced. Their marriage was ugly, but the divorce was even uglier. No child should have to go through what my brother and I went through, but it happens.

The divorce was the hardest thing I have went through, but also the greatest. Many lessons were learned and I grew stronger emotionally. I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for the divorce and I wouldn’t have it any other way. If you read the post linked above, you would also know that my father is no longer in the picture. It’s now ten years since the divorce, I know a lot of people go through it, so I wanted to share how I got through it so it may help others.

I was in the living room watch Spongebob Squarepants when my parents started arguing. It ended with my father spending the night in jail and moving out the next day. The judge granted joint custody of my brother and I. We first started off with staying with my father every other weekend and then more visitation time was added. My brother and I lived with our mother and we visited my father every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday after school until 7:30 p.m. and every other weekend, and every other week in the summer.

My father was a physically/emotionally abusive man. A very controlling man he was. Being so little, my brother and I were easily convinced, for a while he made us believe my mother was a horrible person. Luckily, I came to my senses. My father was never really around so he didn’t help at all during such a difficult time. If it wasn’t for my mother, I don’t think I would have coped like I did.

This isn’t the end of the world, true love still exists, I am not alone. I didn’t express my feelings that well, I kept everything inside. When the divorced happened, I quit dance. About a year after, I joined dance again. I expressed my feelings through dance. I was never much of a talker, so dance was/is my way of speaking. My mother comes from a divorced family, so I knew things would be okay.

I accepted what was and I chose to live life to it’s fullest despite the hardships. I had people there for me and a lot of support which I am forever grateful. Now I mentioned that the divorce was the hardest, but greatest thing I have ever been through. Here’s why it was great…

The constant fighting stopped, I learned to never be with an abusive man, I learned to love in different ways, I realized how I want to raise my children one day, and I learned how to stand up for myself. I know there is more that I’ve learned that I can’t think about right now… But in order for a divorce to be a good thing, you have to look at it as a good thing. Great things come out of hard places.

Make sure to check out my post on what happened when my parents divorced. Let me know in the comments your thoughts! Thanks for reading! 🙂

3 Comments

  1. Veronika

    March 20, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    My parents divorced when I was 21 years old so I did handle it as an adult, but it was still hard. I always thought they are happy but it turned out they weren’t for a long time. They are happy now, separate so that is all that matters.

  2. Mindy Moser

    March 20, 2017 at 7:47 pm

    Great post! My parents are divorcing now and sometimes its hard dealing with it as an adult. Luckily as an adult, I have the perspective to see that it is the best thing for both of them. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Cierra

      March 21, 2017 at 2:53 pm

      Thank you! Hopefully everything goes smooth! 🙂

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